ever since my godma left me, i've started to think bout many things.many things just keep running through my mind. her death was so sudden that i did not know how to react to it.it has already been more than a mth.but everything still seems so unreal to me.i still cant accept da fact tt she has left me.i regretted not spending more time with her.i regretted not calling her more often.i regretted.jc life was indeed busy,but if i had actually took more time out for her.if.yea.if.everything is too late now. this is da first time someone whom i love so much left me.and that was the time when i realised tt life is so short and so unpredictable.we always know tt we must cherish the pple around us b4 it's too late.yea.i know tt.but i guess i did not make enough effort to do so. therefore,i'm constantly reminding myself now to show more care and concern to my parents,my uncle papa,my friends etc.bcos i'm afraid of losing the pple tt i love.
talkin bout my life.what is it that i want?what is it that i want to achieve in my life?
my future.it's so blurred.i don't know what lies ahead of me.it's this sense of insecurity tt makes me fear. as the a level's results release day draws nearer and nearer,my hearts starts to beat faster and faster everytime i think of it. i've worked so hard for it and i don't wana fall at this critical moment. cos it will be this set of results tt will determine my future. i don't know. what if my results are not desirable? maybe i will retake my a's.but again,i'm afraid of failure. so what if my results are desirable?of course,i'll be over da moon. but then again, i don't know. i've always wanted to get into accountin course and i was rather firm on it. however, recently,i've given it a second thought. i don't wana work in an office which is dull and boring.yea,just like da workin environment i'm in now. pple don't interact with each other and they only bury themselves in their own work. it's a simple job cos it's like a routine. ya just keep doin the same things everyday again and again.yea.just keep typin.and i don't even have to use any of my brain cells.i know this is not the kind of job tt i want.i want something challenging.something tt will give me a sense of achievement.a job tt i can interact with pple and not the comp. however,i have zero idea of what is da kind of job tt suits me da best.
i'm just so lost.so confused.i'm afraid of makin decisions.i'm afraid of growing up.
